My healing journey

It was supposed to be an ordinary trip to a parish-related gathering, the Parish Renewal Experience (PREX) convention held at General Santos City in South Cotabato in Mindanao recently. The trip turned out, however, into another healing journey for me.

Flashback: I left Cotabato in 1976 after spending some 8 years working as an Oblate of Mary Immaculate missionary. In those 8 relatively short years I spent more than a year as an Assistant Parish Priest in Kidapawan (North Cotabato), a few months as a substitute priest in Tacurong (Sultan Kudarat) and the rest in Cotabato City at Notre Dame Seminary in Nuling and at the Notre Dame University in the city of Cotabato. It was while at Notre Dame Seminary as Diocesan Director of Vocations that I was able to move around what was then known as the empire province of Cotabato, to as far down south as General Santos City (then known as Dadiangas) visiting schools and preaching recollections and retreats to students. Needless to say, during those years I was able to recruit several aspiring young men to join the diocesan seminary as well as the Oblate seminary. Along the way, I also developed a number of friends some of whom became more than friends to me and treated me like family.

I only went back to Cotabato some two years ago or 30 years later in September 2007 when Fr. Al Carino, OMI, a very good friend starting from seminary days to our priestly ministry, died. I thought then that it was time for me to return to my “roots”, as it were. I described that trip then as my “spiritual homecoming” or a healing journey in my letter of thanks to the Oblate Provincial Fr. Ramon Ma. Bernabe, OMI. And to understand where I am coming from now, here are excerpts of my letter to Fr. Bernabe:

…..“It has been not only a visit and last respect to a great friend, but also some sort of spiritual homecoming for me… I was not planning to come at first as I was thinking of the long tiring trip not only of the flight but also of the trip to the airport from our place. Then on Tuesday morning while my wife Thelma and I were at mass in our parish church, I received your text as forwarded by Taddy regarding the date and time of the funeral. Strangely, I felt a strong urge to go. I then told Al in prayer that if he wants me to go, then I would. At breakfast, I told my wife about my decision. She immediately got in touch with Archbishop Orly and I emailed you asking for the possibility of accommodations in Tamontaka where the wake was…

Please thank Fr. Clete Ternes, OMI, who has been a great host. I had a real wonderful time talking to him during the meals we shared reminiscing old times and talking about people we knew both alive and dead!... I thank Fr. Zaldy Oreola too whom I just met for the first time that Thursday afternoon but was very generous of his time to tour me around the OMI novitiate and the OND grounds where I got to meet a lot of OND friends. I prayed also for some friends at the OND cemetery.

Friday, after the funeral, I lingered at the cemetery and prayed for/to the OMI's I knew and have been closed to. I then walked around the grotto and just enjoyed the quiet surroundings and the huge trees thanking God. It was truly an experience. Many of my long-held fears and anxieties about coming back to Cotabato have vanished as I felt the love and caring of friends --both old and new, priests, religious and laity. Somehow I also felt I have been forgiven as I have forgiven those who I thought had rejected and hurt me after I left... I realized then that my trip has turned into a healing journey…

During that first trip for Fr. Al’s funeral, I was not able to visit Tacurong and Kidapawan, the two places where I spent a significant part of my priestly ministry. And so when this Gensan trip beckoned, I immediately took the opportunity and planned my journey to these two places …

At Gensan, my wife Thelma and I were met at the airport by our gracious hosts, Dra. Mary Ann Ayco (of the Montilla family of Tacurong) and Femie Lechonsito (of the Lechonsitos of Tacurong). Both call me “Dad” and are like daughters to me. After getting settled at the house of Mary Ann’s younger sister Suzanne Montilla-Juliano, we proceeded to visit first an old friend I have not seen for many years, Sr. Antonia Falgui (of the Falgui clan of Kiamba) who is now bedridden by diabetes and other complications. Then off we went to spend overnight in a beach resort (Isla Jardin del Mar) at Glan, Saranggani province to relax before going through the grueling schedule of the convention.

Immediately after the convention on Sunday noon, with RTC Judge Bert Ayco (Mary Ann’s husband) at the wheels, we left for Tacurong passing by Polomolok, South Cotabato for a brief tour of the Dole pineapple plantation and snacks at their Kalsangi clubhouse where we had a chance encounter and photo opportunity with former President Fidel V. Ramos who just came from a round of golf at the Dole golf course.

Driving along the South Cotabato national highway passing through Polomolok, Tupi, and Koranadal (formerly Marbel) was a breeze reminding me of our expressways in Luzon. Without the stopovers in Polomolok and Tupi (where we stopped again for “pasalubongs”), the trip to Tacurong took us only about an hour when it used to take me about two hours including all the free dust (or mud) that went with the trip!

After spending Sunday night with the Ayco family in Tacurong, we left for Kidapawan Monday morning with Sr. Lucy, OND, another friend from the past, who rejoined our group.

So from Tacurong in the province of Sultan Kudarat, we proceeded Northeast towards Kidapawan in North Cotabato passing through a couple of towns in the province of Maguindanao. The highway this time was not as good as the one in South Cotabato, but better than the old highway I used to be familiar with! At Crossing Tulunan, Judge Ayco pointed to me the very place where Fr. Tulio Favali, an Italian PIME missionary was shot to death some years back… I whispered a little prayer for him… Finally we reached Kidapawan after about an hour of driving… It occurred to me at this point that we have actually gone through 5 provinces and 4 cities already in such a brief time!

Approaching what is now the City of Kidapawan (and capital of North Cotabato) was entering memory lane for me… There were so many new buildings as well as familiar landmarks along the main highway. But what caught my attention right away was the statue of St. Joseph in front of what used to be the old and familiar St. Joseph Hospital where I ministered to many sick and dying people in the year and a half that I was in Kidapawan. There was the market, Kidapawan Hardware, and of course, the renovated parish church (now the cathedral of the Diocese of Kidapawan), and the site of the old convento where I used to live…

We first visited a very dear friend, Mrs. Meding Alonzo, now a widow who lives with only a companion in their sprawling house. It was an emotional visit, with Joe or Pete Alonzo (Meding’s husband and my best friend) having passed away just a year or two back… Next in our agenda was the new OMI retreat or spiritual center in Binoligan where we visited with my friend, Fr. Armand “Pete” Carignan, OMI who incidentally was celebrating his birthday that day. And again, by coincidence, I also got to meet Fr. Armando Angeles a diocesan priest who turned out to be an old student of mine at the Nuling Seminary! He hugged me and, ironically for me, thanked me for having recruited him to join the seminary!,,, We next visited Bishop Romulo dela Cruz, now Bishop of Kidapawan at his residence in Balindog. Bishop Romy and I were both resident priests at the Diocesan Seminary in Nuling in the early 70’s. It warmed my heart when later my wife Thelma told me that Bishop Romy thanked her for “taking good care of Danny. He looks good!”…Lunch was with Dr. and Mrs. Alfredo Villarico, my old doctor in Kidapawan who happened to be also a friend of Sr. Lucy. We had fun time reminiscing the past… Our last visit but nonetheless a meaningful one was with another friend of mine, former North Cotabato congressman Greg Ipong, my former seminarian at Nuling who hugged me and called me his “mentor”… Back to Gensan that same afternoon, a brief stopover again in Tacurong gave me the opportunity to visit with Mrs. Asuncion Montilla, Mary Ann’s mom who was recently widowed. It was a heartwarming visit for me as she affirmed her love for me as “Mary Ann”s good friend”.

I left Gensan with Thelma for Manila the next day not only with a bagful of “pasalubongs”, but also with a heart brimming with joy and thanking God for faithful friends who I had found out have always been there for me after all.

My healing is now complete.