Of Hello and Good-bye

Nico, Cecille and Nicole left over the weekend back to California after a three-week vacation here in Manila. It was Nico’s first vacation after six long years in the U.S. It was also a first visit for Cecille after her marriage to Nico three years ago. It may not be the first visit for Nicole (she was here on her first birthday), but it may have been her first as far as she was concerned.

I am sharing with you my letter to Nico as I described what transpired during these last three weeks and my feelings as we said good bye to each other.

To access the photos please go to http://pizz.multiply.com/photos/album/45/Vacation_Summary

My dear son,

I wanted to write since yesterday after you left but I just could not seem to get going.

Today is different…My feelings have settled.… I have gone back to my regular routine of going to daily mass with your mother and doing my walking rounds of the block around our neighborhood for my daily exercise…

Things also seem to have settled here at home with almost all traces of your having been here for the last three weeks gone… with only the memories remaining like a song that still keeps playing in my head.

I am still wondering how managed to fit everything we had planned into these past three weeks! Remember how you hit the ground running? No sooner had you arrived when we celebrated your birthday the next day with a party here at home with the Alvarez and Mendiola families? It was a wonderful reunion we had as you met once again your uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, and nieces from both sides of your family after an absence of six long years.

Your other social appointments that had been laid out and forged previously – rounds of golf with your uncles and cousins, spa sessions, nights out with friends, a trip to Binan to visit with Cecille’s family and topped off by a trip to Tagaytay – were then all crammed into your schedule whenever possible as the days went by.

How can we forget the Boracay weekend getaway? Did I tell you It was only then that I realized that I had a complete family with me – wife, four children, three children in law, and a grandchild? It scared me no end thinking what could have happened while all of us were in that one plane on the way to Kalibo and back to Manila! In any case, I will just let you young guys talk through your social sites i.e., facebook, multiply, etc, through photos of what you all did in Boracay. For one thing, I was missing in all if not most of your Boracay escapades anyway! Ah, yes, of course, I must mention that that weekend was also your mother’s birthday and we celebrated it on our last day in Boracay and ended the long day by trooping over to the MOA (Mall of Asia) straight from the airport on our way home.

Of course, how fitting it was to end your vacation with Nicole’s birthday party. Although dampened somewhat by a sudden summer rain, the party was a huge success as shown by the number of people who came and the gifts that Nicole received. Not only were there relatives from the Alvarez and Mendiola families, but also friends of our family from all over. It was truly a children’s party with Dora and friends as motif. There were the usual balloons, playthings, ice cream and cotton candy carts, Nicole’s favorite French fries from NYFD, and cupcake giveaways. I noticed during the party that Nicole did not seem to be herself and apparently was not enjoying. But then I realized it must have been just the overwhelming effect of the number of people. She has never seen so many people in a party and all fuzzing over her! She was herself once again after the party when all the strangers were gone and she was alone with us as she opened her gifts.

Speaking of Nicole, it all dawned on me yesterday while we were making our good-byes that this vacation was really all about her after all. Especially when you came into my room and told me how difficult it was for you to go. And all because of Nicole who was vehemently refusing to accept that it was time to go back home to California.

Your mother and sisters described to me the airport scene – how nobody wanted to speak, how everyone was teary eyed, how Nicole kept crying and saying “I don’t wanna go home! I want to go back Lola’s house!” “Lola’s house” (our house) seem to have symbolized happiness and joy to her very young mind.

In any case, like I told you, let us not underestimate a child’s resiliency. And I know that my grandchild is smart. She will get it over with sooner than we expect.

She will learn that this whole experience is actually one big lesson in life for her. That life is a series of hellos and good-byes and not just one big hello. That there are joys in hellos and sadness in good-byes. That she is loved and loved much by many. That she too has a capacity to love and give happiness to others. That she cannot always get what she wants.

Finally, it may sound strange but I want to say I am missing you now more than Nicole! This was my feeling yesterday and it still lingers on as I write this. I think it is because I deliberately distanced myself from Nicole while she was around. Maybe I did not want to compete with your mother and sisters. But more so, I think, because I did not want to miss her so much when she is gone.

But you were different. I felt you made all the efforts to be near me whenever possible to engage me in small talk and just be there as I sat alone in my room. I assure you, son, I appreciate those special moments with you. And yes, thank you for fixing my computer and for taking the effort to get for me the “24” series!

Finally, I hope the vacation did you a lot of good, has recharged you and refreshed you to face the bigger challenges ahead. You know your mother and I are just here and that

We love you,

Papa