"My Only U": A funny, merry take on death and love

I do not watch tagalog movies (Alright, I like and I watch FPJ movies!). But this time, my wife Thelma convinced me to watch this one. Its producers sell it basically as a musical comedy kind of movie and relies heavily on the box-office strong tandem of Toni Gonzaga and Vhong Navarro. Behind the corny jokes and toilet humor, the singing of Toni and the dancing of Vhong, its story line deals, however, with death and love. How a musical comedy gets combined with drama on death and love is truly a tribute to the genius of its director, Cathy Garcia-Molina.

Winona (Toni Gonzaga) is the devoted daughter to her blind father. At age 23, she had already lost her mother and brother and is now expected to die soon when she reaches 24 due apparently to a family curse where the women in her family all the way up to her great, great, grandmother died before they reached age 24. But just the same, Winona does not care. She continues to dream big for her father and works hard to achieve it before death comes. She is prepared to die. In fact, she already has her “damit pamburol” (death wear) ready. Attractive, she refuses to entertain suitors since she is going to die soon anyway, in the same manner that she refuses to see the meaning of Bong’s acts towards her.

Bong (Vhong Navarro) is Winona’s neighbor and landlord who is in love with Winona ever since their childhood. He is afraid to express her love for Winona, although his actions say it all as he tries to do everything to make Winona happy before she dies. He even helps her do her “Bucket List” as he tries to prevent her from going abroad to work.

The story then takes a surprise twist towards the end.

It is a delightful and enjoyable movie if one wants to be entertained. But beneath the comedy, drama, song, and dance, there are hidden nuggets of life’s lessons to be found that the ordinary moviegoer may miss.

On Death. In the movie Winona shows how someone who is dying should prepare for death, that is, to live one’s dying; to continue living as if you do not know that you are to die soon, to continue pursuing your dreams for your loved ones even as you prepare for death.

The movie also acts out the biblical truth that death comes when you least expect it, that it comes “like a thief in the night”. It does not come on the day when you expect it or when you want it to come.

On love. The movie as a whole shows that love is beyond time. It shows especially in a highlight exchange between Winona and Bong towards the end ot the movie, about why someone would want to marry another who is about to die in a month, in a week, or in a day. The answer is love. Because love is beyond a month, a week, or even a day.

Love, finally, is also beyond death. Love transcends death because death has no power over love anymore since Christ resurrected from the dead. As St. Paul says, in the end, “only love remains”.

Thoughts on All Souls Day

Today is All Souls Day. If we follow the Catholic liturgy, today is the day of praying for our dead. Why Filipinos visit the graves of their dead loved ones and pray for them on All Saints Day, which was yesterday, is something I still cannot explain.

In any case, the priest in our Sunday mass this morning took pains to talk about death in his homily and tried very hard to drive home his point about being prepared for death without sounding morbid or scary. His long homily, however, missed a big point – the connection between death and Christ’s resurrection

At this point in my life, after having stared at death face to face once with a massive heart attack and after having seen death so many times in the past as a priest and as a CPE chaplain, I have learned to live my own dying joyfully on a daily basis. Today, I am able to see the joyful side of dying because as a Christian I know that death has already “lost its sting” and that Christ has already conquered death through His resurrection.

This mindset about death is probably the reason why early this year, I decided to install a beautiful image of the resurrected Christ in our family mausoleum in our old hometown where my deceased parents and two older brothers are buried. Jokingly, I told my siblings, my nephews, and nieces that the image should remind them of me when I am gone since Thelma or my children will surely inter my ashes here in Manila where it is closer to them. Come to think of it, however, the image should remind them about the joyful side of dying and the hope of another life that only Jesus as the way to eternal life can give.

And speaking of the way to eternal life, I remember how an American priest in our seminary used to get upset, saying it is none of their business, whenever the seminarians greet him with “Father, where are you going?” or “Father, where have you been?” A Filipino priest finally reminded his American colleague that the questions are actually the Filipino way of recognizing him and that the questions are the equivalent of the Americans’ “How are you doing?”

Come to think of it today, the questions “Where have you been?” and “Where are you going?” can actually be reminders to ourselves where we came from and where we are going ultimately.

UNDAS: A day for remembering

For the first time in many years, I am alone and at home today, All Saints Day or Undas in Philippine tradition, when we remember and visit the graves of our loved ones in cemeteries. I stayed behind mainly due to my spinal ailment which does not allow me to stand or walk for a long period of time.

I found myself instead remembering the dead who have in one way or the other affected me as a person.

Three deaths have etched themselves deeply in my mind and awaken me to the reality of death and my own mortality as a young teenager in high school. Cora was a year younger than me. She was the prettiest and the darling of their class. She was my secret “crush”, the very first one that I can remember. At her funeral, I cried for the first time for someone who was not my family. Berting was a year older than me. He was the most promising in his class being the class valedictorian. Then there was Ric, two years ahead of me and classmate of my sister Elena. He was handsome and the star basketball player of our school’s varsity team.

Naïve and innocent I thought then that it was okay for old people to die but not for young ones. Those three died in the prime of their youth. And for the first time I asked God then: “Why them, Lord?” To this day, I still have not gotten an answer.

It was much later when another death touched and affected me deeply -- my own father’s death. Maybe because it was the first death in my immediate family and so the pain of loss was great. There was also some sense of regret for I thought that I have never really served him when I was in fact a priest ministering to the needs of others. Grief must have overwhelmed me so much that I remember concelebrating at his funeral mass but it was as if I was somewhere else. Today grief has turned into joy when I remember my father. Somehow I know he is happy where he is.

The last time death has had a real impact on me was the death of a very dear friend some years back. She was my classmate in graduate school course in Counseling. We became close friends and one of those who helped me find my true self-identity that led me to decide to leave the priesthood. We remained close friends even as we led separate lives and raised our own families afterwards. That is, until she decided, allegedly, to end her own life. To this day, her manner of death remains in question and I leave it at that. But no matter, I hope and pray that she is now at peace.

Today I remember them and all the others whose deaths have left a deep void in my heart, like my beloved mother Paz and my dear brothers Romeo and Renato.

For all of them I offer this prayer/poem that I have gotten somewhere I do not remember now.

NO TEARS

by Lourdes Bautista Gaskell

Look, no tears, my love, because

I consider you still alive. For your life

has not ended, only changed,

to love me more, watch and

protect with loving care.

I know there is no happiness for

us in this world that’s why God

touched you first, I, to follow

next.

Help me please, fulfill too

the works and dreams you left

unfinished so that someday, we

may, together, enjoy eternal rest.