Jesus and the Politics of Compassion: Is God Male or Female?

“Papa, Is God male or female?” Mae, my youngest daughter popped this question out of the blue yesterday while I was driving and caught me off-guard. I answered: “Both. But we are not talking of gender here, I continued.”

My daughter’s question reminded me of the times when I used to feel uneasy whenever someone refers to God as both a He and a She because I grew up believing that God is simply Male. As I continue to reflect, however, on the “Jesus before Christianity” theme, Marcus Borg’s explanation of God being compassionate has made me more comfortable to consider God as neither a He nor a She, because God is both. Borg explains it thus: “In its sense of ‘like a womb’, (God as) compassionate has nuances of giving life, nourishing, caring, perhaps embracing and encompassing. For Jesus, this is what God is like.” And, if I may add, this is what Jesus’ vision is for his Church and his followers as exemplified by his life.

When I muse about it now, I feel that Jesus would most likely behave the same way he did during his times were he to return today and see his Church that was supposedly founded according to this vision. And sadly, I think Jesus would see that the politics of purity and exclusion he vigorously condemned among the people during his time remains entrenched in the Church today and has not yet been replaced by the politics of compassion and inclusion that he wanted… And the real-life story of a former priest comes to mind as an example… This is his story…

He decided to leave his congregation and the priestly ministry after several years of soul-searching and prayers, and after having struggled to overcome the inner conflict of being true to his inner self on the one hand, and simply putting on an external self while performing the duties and obligations of a priest, on the other hand. And being a good priest, he made his final decision to leave and requested for dispensation as required by the Church. He was, however, left on his own to adjust to his new world and to start a new life. For sure, his superiors did assist him in applying for and obtaining his papal dispensation but he did not receive any financial help (it is “not their policy”), nor did he feel any moral support from them. He felt severed completely all of a sudden like a newborn infant whose umbilical cord was cut off and left alone.

The feeling of aloneness and rejection was enhanced when suddenly many of his priest-friends started to display a “holier-than-you” attitude and stayed away from him like he was a criminal and a sinner seemingly because he left and they stayed. He felt unwelcome in the congregation’s houses and in their social/religious gatherings. Further his writ of dispensation explicitly banned him from living in places where he had been previously assigned to avoid “scandal” among the people. He was also barred from teaching Religion in a catholic school and from participating as a Lector or Minister at masses. He was allowed to marry but without much publicity to avoid “scandal” among the faithful.

He felt rejected too when he started to look around for a job. In his first few job applications he would reach the final interview only to be told that he could not be accepted because he was an “ex-priest”. Disappointed, he approached an old friend, a top executive of a company and a church lay leader who he thought would help him… Only to be told to go immediately to look for a priest to confess his sins and to go back to being a priest… Since then he decided to hide his identity as a former priest to new acquaintances and prospective employers. From then on he lived in anonymity wherever he resided or worked -- afraid to meet old friends and make new ones lest he be not accepted for the “sin” of being an “ex”…

Come to think of it now, the framework of this former priest’s whole experience is in fact, the still existing politics of purity in the Church which divides and excludes, not the politics of compassion which Jesus preaches in the Gospel that unites and includes (Read the story of the Samaritan Woman, the Good Samaritan, the story of Jairus, the story of the Prodigal Son and many others). Thank God, this is now all changing as the Church continues to reform itself.

And so, “Is God male or female?” For me, that is not the big question today, but whether we, the Church and the people of God, continue to strive to practice the politics of compassion that Jesus has originally envisioned.

Father Rey Roda, OMI

More than a year ago, on November 20, 2006, Father Rey Roda, OMI left an offline message on my Yahoo Messenger. He said: “Kumusta na? Ngayon lang akong natuto gumamit ng Yahoo Messenger…. Kagagaling ko lang sa Cotabato City para sa NDJC Board Meeting. Nasa Zamboanga City ako ngayon. Sa Wednesday, pa Bongao ako, at sa Sabado nasa Tabawan na ako…. “

On December 7, 2006, he again left a message: “Hi! kumusta na ang nagrecruit sa akin sa OMI Juniorate? i was worried pa na hindi mo ako tanggapin sa seminaryo. Thanks for letting me join the OMIs. I feel happy as a missionary here in the Tawi-Tawi islands.”

Finally, last year on February 11, 2007 was his last message in response to my email: “Sorry for the very late response. Nasa tabawan na ako noong nag e-mail ka. I'm happy that inspite of your not so young age you still reach out to help others through CPE. I can surmise that your children are all grown up and with good jobs. You recruited me at the ND Cotabato City Boys last 1970... Matagal na. Si Manny Punzal naman ay nagrecruit kay Pol Yazar and Raul Biasbas. Ikaw din ang nagrecruit kay Nestor Silva na nasa Canada na ngayon. Pol, Raul & I are now in Tawi-Tawi islands…”

I will not repeat here anymore the story of Father Rey’s tragic and seemingly senseless (in man's eyes) death a week ago in Tabawan, Sulu. As you all know by now, they buried Fr. Rey yesterday in his final resting place at the OMI cemetery in Tamontaka, Cotabato.

Today, as I sit here and nurse my grief, I do not know what/who urges me to write this. Maybe Fr. Rey does. Actually, it took me a long time to decide whether I should. It has been quite a long time since I last saw and talked to him in person. Maybe 30 years…. since 1976…

I write this now to thank God for making me somehow a worthy instrument in His calling Fr. Rey to the priesthood. And to tell Fr. Rey to please remember me as I still go on my own journey…

Of kites, a Book, and a Movie

Someone asked me yesterday about the meaning of the kite in my site’s banner. Well, the answer is I have always been fascinated by kites! I love to fly kites. I enjoy the uplifting feeling from holding the kite strings and watching in awe as the kite pulls itself upwards triumphantly against the wind. If only I could fly kites anytime I feel dispirited, I would readily do so since kite-flying can be my best resource of upliftment. But then I would need an open space with no trees and electric wires nearby, plus a strong wind to carry my kite up high into the sky. And I would need a kite that can fly and respond obediently to my urgings on its string.

Kites too have always been the favorite toy of my youth during summertime and in the month of December in the Philippines when the wind blows relatively stronger than the rest of the year. My adventures as well as misadventures with kites will forever be part of my growing up years when computer games were still alien in my hometown of San Jose in the province of Nueva Ecija.

I have made and flown all kinds of kites ever since I was a young lad. Starting from the lowly “boca-boca” fashioned out of plain paper and made to fly by means of a spool of thin thread filched from my mother’s sewing kit (!); to the medium-sized “sapi-sapi” with its colorful flaps, fins, and tail; and all the way to the huge and strong “sarangola” that can make sounds with its “paugong” as it dives and then climbs up high against the wind… Yes, to this day, I have kept my love affair with kites going while I still dream of owning and flying the most colorful and beautiful kite I ever saw at a store in Honolulu, Hawaii last year.

It is predictably the kite too that attracted me to buy, read and enjoy the very first novel of an untested Afghan-American writer named Khaled Hosseini. The book is “The Kite Runner”, a beautifully-written masterpiece by this hitherto unknown author and has since become one of my favorites. The book, to my delight, has also become a smashing best-seller and has recently been made into a movie.

I saw the movie version the other day courtesy of my daughter Dana who patiently downloaded it for me in her computer. I still maintain that the book is a better version, but the movie itself has its own merits for me personally. For one, it has put faces into the names I could previously only imagine. There were too the breath-taking sceneries, the haunting musical background, and, of course, the beautiful and exciting kite-flying scenes which I enjoyed immensely. The main protagonists – the two boys and the father – delivered very credible acting. And the movie kept close to the novel’s original story line – a story of friendship and betrayal, of father and son relationship, and of the effects of war on people amid the Russian invasion of Afghanistan.

I realize as I write these comments on the book and the movie that I am probably not too objective in my assessment given my predilection for kites. But I will still say go ahead and read the book, then watch the movie or even the other way around. It is all worth it even if you have never flown a kite before and do not like kites for any reason at all!

On Enjoying the Journey

“Are we there yet?”

At dinner sometime ago, my daughter Pizza and my son-in-law Jay were telling us all about their trip to Quezon province with some of Jay’s balikbayan relatives that included three Filipino-American youngsters who were traveling to a Philippine countryside for the first time. She related how tired she was after trying to play nanny to three “super-kulit” youngsters as they kept asking forever the all-familiar question/complaint -- "Are we there yet?" -- expressed in exasperation or boredom (or both) sometimes at the top of their lungs. And how she tried to do anything – tell stories, sing, play games, or just point out the scenery that is new to the children like the rice fields, the carabaos – whatever just to distract them and hopefully make them realize that the journey itself can be fun and even meaningful while waiting to get to their destination some 200 kilometers south of Manila.

Today, my thoughts turn inward and I reflect on my own journey in life as I turn another year older. And I ask whether I have been concentrating too much on my destination and forgetting to enjoy the journey itself; focusing too much on the search for the way to happiness and neglecting that happiness can be found on the way itself, especially among my companions in my journey and basically around me if I will only look -- like the disciples on the road to Emmaus who were concentrating on their destination to get home and did not recognize Jesus until they look closer at the man who were with them on their journey as he broke bread with them.

Let me share then what Father Alfred D’Souza expresses so well in an article about happiness and life’s journey:

“For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin, real life. But, there was always some obstacle along the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served or a debt to be paid. Then I thought life would begin… At last it dawned on me that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

So treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you share it with someone special, someone special enough to spend your time with. Make the most of your time. Don’t waste too much of your time studying, working, or stressing about something that seems important. Do what you want to do to be happy but also do what you can to make the people you care about happy. Remember that time waits for no one. So stop waiting until you take your last test, until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you have the perfect body, the perfect car, or whatever other perfect thing that you desire. Stop waiting until the weekend, when you can party or let loose; until summer, spring, fall or winter, until you find the right person and get married; until you die, until you are born again, to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.”

Come to think of it now, I too have been asking for the longest time: “Are we there yet?” sometimes in exasperation and boredom. I have not given up! I know that even at my age it is not yet too late to enjoy the journey! "Are we there yet?"

Jesus Before Christianity vs. The Nazarene of Quiapo and the Santo Nino

The past couple of weeks have been dry days for me mainly due to a very bad case of colds coupled with fever, body aches and just a general sense of malaise. So I decided to dig up my old books and pulled out what I thought is still relevant today. The following are some thoughts I want to share with you today...

Albert Nolan’s book, Jesus Before Christianity is a such a rich source of reflection for me. From the first chapter alone where he talks about the political situation in Jesus' time as well as the solution that Jesus brought with him, I remember immediately Teddy Benigno’s series of columns in the Philippine Star before he died some years ago as he wrote about the present situation in the country and his proposed solution. He wrote about the plight of the poor who are growing exponentially every year and becoming poorer still, the inequitable distribution of wealth with the vast majority of resources in the hands of very few families, the stark corruption in government, the scandalous militarization of the bureaucracy, the frightening escalation of violence, and even the utter helplessness of the institutional Church today. He talked about a terrifying social volcano that is to erupt inevitably if we do not do something right away. He then proposed what to me was another political solution – the formation of yet another political group he then called “Freedom Force”.

At the other end of the spectrum, organized religion advocates a spiritual solution to bring back Christ in the government and in our society in general. Here, I remember a neon-lighted billboard boldly proclaiming “Christ is the Answer” along Taft Avenue in Manila of the 60’s. In this regard, I have been a witness these past weeks to two examples of this kind of response to our problems at hand.

Last January 9, Metro Manilans as well as those from neighboring towns celebrated the feast of Christ the Black Nazarene in Quiapo. On the day of the fiesta itself, a million plus devotees, mostly urban poor males, flock to Quiapo for the procession where they try to outhustle each other in holding on to a huge rope while pulling the cart bearing the Nazarene. They also do everything so they can wipe their towels off the statue for the much needed blessing. Veteran observers say this year’s crowd was the largest ever in Quiapo’s history. And they add, because life has never been as hard for the Filipino common tao as it was last year.

The other example of spiritual solution that comes to mind is the Santo Nino. As I write this, I am fresh from attending mass in our subdivision chapel whose patron saint is Santo Nino and whose fiesta is today (January 20). The Santo Nino is a favorite among Filpinos and his statue is displayed in almost every home and even in business establishments. Today’s fiesta is also one of the biggest events in many places such as Cebu, Iloilo, and Aklan. At mass today, the priest-celebrant, who is a foreigner was so surprised to see almost every family at mass bringing their own version of the Holy Child in various shapes and sizes, dressed in so many different ways, and placing these before the altar. He was requested later to bless the statues after the mass. When he asked one of them after the blessing why everyone has a statue, he was told that the Santo Nino is their protector and advocate who had answered their prayers in the past.

I now realized after re-reading Albert Nolan’s book that these two forms of Jesus Christ set forth by organized religion do not represent the true Jesus before Christianity who, Nolan says, is the real answer, the way to total liberation and fulfillment not only for us Filipinos but for the whole humankind. Certainly not Jesus the Nazarene who represents a suffering, defeated Jesus on his way to his crucifixion – who for many Filipinos is merely a dispenser of favors and miracles. Certainly not the innocent, cute, and helpless Holy Child who only encourages us to continue to be childish and not child-like. These expressions of religiosity but not of true spirituality only further our inaction and indifference to our present situation.

In saying this, I belittle neither the faith of the devotees to the Nazarene of Quiapo and the Santo Nino, nor the miracles that have been wrought in their name. But, I think ours is what Nolan calls “the type of religion that emphasizes the supernatural world in such a way that one does not need to be concerned about the future of this world and all its peoples, (that) offers a form of escape that makes it all the more difficult to solve our problems.”

Epiphany

Today, January 6, 2008 is the Feast of the Epiphany in the Catholic liturgical calendar. The priest at mass emphasizes that today is no longer the Feast of Three Kings as we have always known it to be (apparently they were neither kings nor three in number!). The emphasis of the story today is more on God’s manifestation or appearance to the gentiles (the Wise Men), more on the fact that God came not only for the Jews but for all men…

What struck me in the story, however, is God’s way of manifesting his will to men through signs (the star, the angel) and through men’s experience. Today, I can’t imagine God or an angel appearing to us in our dreams to tell us what he wants… But, as one spiritual writer (whose name eludes me now as I experience a senior moment!) has phrased it: “God manifests his will to us in the present times through the experiences he writes in our lives” (not the exact quote). And it is up to us to make the effort to read it correctly.

Let me share with you my experience lately.

Given the mood of the holiday season, I have been reflecting recently regarding my present lot of being in a “waiting” mode, of waiting for something to happen in my life after my open-heart surgery. As a friend told me, obviously God is not done with me yet.

Yes, I accept that, I could have died from a massive heart attack had I been in another place when it came. But, what now that I am still alive and seemingly ready to live longer? What does God want me to do? I ask myself.

Not that I am ready... Physically, I still have to fully recover from my open heart surgery. These past days however, I have been thinking again of wanting to go back to what attracted me to CPE, and that is working with and spiritually caring for the dying, the elderly, the patients with terminal illness, etc. In fact it was my expressed specialty to be during my CPE training last year in Honolulu and I always went out of my way in paying special attention to this kind of patients in the hospitals where I was assigned... My supervisor even remarked I would do well working in a hospice facility because I seemed to have the gift for it.

The other day, I went to my favorite bookstore and bought my quota of books for the month and guess what did I pick? I selected a novel by Richard Paul Evans, The Locket. It is a moving story of a beautiful relationship between a young caregiver in a seniors' facility and an elderly in her last stages of life... I also opted for a book by my favorite spiritual author, Henri Nouwen, entitled A Meditation on Dying and Caring to add to my growing collection of books on Dying and Caring for the Dying. Of course, one would say: “But you chose these books! It does not mean anything.” Yes, but what amazes me is that a third book sent by a friend came that evening. It is a book of letters by an Aunt to her nephews and nieces entitled: Dear Pamangkins (Letters on Life and Spirituality). The letter writer is Dra. Josefina B. Magno, MD, a Filipina doctor who was one of the pioneers of the hospice movement in the United States. So you can just imagine how I reacted when I browse through the book and discovered how she was talking to her pamangkins about her passion of taking care of the dying and those with terminal illness like cancer. I could imagine her talking to me!

Is this where God is leading me? What is he saying to me now? How does one read God’s will in the experiences God writes in our lives? Today, I can only wait. I take comfort in what Dr. Magno writes to her pamangkins as if she is writing to me: “It is amazing how God gives us the answers to our questions when the right time comes.” (p. 104)

Surprise

One of my regular reading fares is a small book by my favorite spiritual writer, Henri Nouwen, entitled Bread for the Journey. It is a Thought-a-Day book containing the much loved author’s “own intensely-lived faith journey”. The entry for the first day of the year, January 1 is as follows:

“Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let's not be afraid to receive each day's surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy. It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity.”

I must admit that I read this entry only last night and upon reading it, I started to go back to the last few days if indeed the Lord had had a surprise for me that I was not aware of until then. Yes, he had!

For the last few weeks or so since before Christmas, I have been suffering from symptoms of what seemed like a case of Dyspepsia – mid-stomach pains, feeling of a full-stomach all the time, expelling gas, burping even long after meals, etc. I self-medicated with antacids but without relief. Finally, anti-dyspepsia pills I got over the counter relieved me of the symptoms but only temporarily. I was told that what I was feeling was normal during the holiday season when there is so much food to eat. It could also be from the stress brought about by the preparations for the wedding in the family.

But, the symptoms kept coming back even after only a light meal and even after the wedding and Christmas. My research on the internet said that the symptoms could also be caused by stomach ulcer or cancer which really scared me. However, the pain and discomfort were manageable enough that I decided to forego seeing my doctor until after the New Year.

On New Year’s Day, my family and I went to some sort of New Year gathering with my siblings and our families. Not feeling anything, I went on a binge and pig myself out on everything on the table practically throwing away all caution to the winds. One thing, however, that I consciously did was to be more relaxed and to take my time as I ate my food.

Guess what? It has been three days since and today I just noticed that all my symptoms are gone! I feel great and back to my old self. Is this my surprise from the Lord?

What is your surprise today?