We never celebrated Father’s Day before when he was still alive. And so today, Father’s Day, on the centennial year of my father’s birth, I want to pay tribute to my “Tatang”, my late father, DOMINGO CRUZ MENDIOLA.
“Tatang” is what he taught us to address him. The title may now be considered by many as outdated, but for us, his children, the word “Tatang” speaks of the ordinary and simple man who fathered the seven of us.
Tatang's Early Years
We know very little about Tatang’s family and his life before he married Inang, my mother. He was born in Aliaga, Nueva Ecija on May 12, 1908. He is the only child from his father’s third and last marriage. His mother, Maria Cruz, died when Tatang was just a kid. He had older half-siblings from his father’s first and second marriages.
Tatang must have moved with his father Paulino to San Jose from Aliaga after his mother’s death. His father died and was buried in San Jose when Tatang was still a young boy. So apparently, Tatang was left alone in San Jose where he grew up to fend for himself. Because he never talked about it, we could only guess that he had had an unhappy and difficult childhood having been orphaned early and ignored by his half-brother and half-sister.
Being bright and intelligent, however, Tatang the orphan apparently supported himself and finished high school. It must have been around this time too when Tatang got close to the Bunag family of San Jose who was then operating a photo studio in town. He worked with them as photographer and somehow became an adopted son of the family. The Bunag’s daughter, Honor, eventually became my ninang (Godmother) in baptism, while Ninang Honor’s mother was “Mama” to all of us. Looking back, Tatang must have gotten close to the Bunags, especially “Mama”, because he found in them the family love and caring he never had, especially since he grew up without a mother and a family he could call his own.
Tatang as a Person
Tatang was a simple man with simple tastes and simple pleasures. He never touched cigarette and alcohol. He was always physically clean from head to toe, dressed neatly and smelled good even at home. He was short and on the heavier side because he likes to eat. He was also a musician (trombone player) so he naturally loves to listen to music, especially band music. He would stay all night just to listen to the Serenata Ng Mga Banda (Serenade of the Bands) during town fiestas in San Jose and Pulilan. Ah, yes, he likes to go to the movies, but English movies only! His weekends usually would include a good movie or a haircut in town or simply staying at home to catch up on his reading.
Yes, he believes that reading is educational. Although short in funds, he would always have a daily newspaper (Bulletin) which he reads upon coming home from office. He also had a regular subscription of the Readers’ Digest and the Philippines Free Press. I still remember his large collection of Readers’ Digest and Philippines Free Press at our old house in Ramos Street.
He was not a religious person as Inang was in the early days. He would lead us all to church on Sundays but he never went to confession or receive communion. He would explain later that it was all due to his experience with the priest who officiated at their wedding. He was also not too keen then about joining any civic or religious organization. He would say he just did not want all the socializing, but we knew he was just afraid that he could not afford the expense. But he would make up for it later when I had gone to the seminary. He eventually joined the Knights of Columbus, made the Cursillo, and started receiving the sacraments
.
And finally, how he loves children! When we were all grown up already, I remember how he loves to borrow a neighbor’s baby to coddle and play with. I can imagine how he must have been the happiest Lolo (Grandfather) when his first grandchildren came.
Memories
I have many fond memories of my Tatang. My earliest recollection was that of a blue shirt neatly tucked near my pillow as I woke up one Christmas morning. Tatang said it was from Santa Claus and I believed him then! The next Christmas it was a toy jeep made from tin can and pulled by a string. I also remember how he surprised me one day with a ball of string for my kite, except that the string was too heavy for my small kite. I remember too the movie “The Sullivans”, the first English movie he brought us to see at the old Cine Celia complete with peanuts and candies. I remember most of all the time he accompanied me to school when I was in Grade 1 after I refused to study anymore because of a bully in school.
Tatang’s parenting was conservative. As head of the family, he would let Inang do the spanking when we misbehaved. He did not dare punish us unless he had to. I guess because he knew he had a temper and he really would explode when he got angry. He was also strictly a homebody, a home-to-office-to-home sort of person. He was also not an expressive type of person, except perhaps with babies and small children, but not with us his grown up children. I do not think he bonded deeply with any of his children, except perhaps with Ateng, his only girl. But I remember that unlike Inang, he wrote me often while I was at the seminary to tell me about happenings at home.
“Tatang” is what he taught us to address him. The title may now be considered by many as outdated, but for us, his children, the word “Tatang” speaks of the ordinary and simple man who fathered the seven of us.
Tatang's Early Years
We know very little about Tatang’s family and his life before he married Inang, my mother. He was born in Aliaga, Nueva Ecija on May 12, 1908. He is the only child from his father’s third and last marriage. His mother, Maria Cruz, died when Tatang was just a kid. He had older half-siblings from his father’s first and second marriages.
Tatang must have moved with his father Paulino to San Jose from Aliaga after his mother’s death. His father died and was buried in San Jose when Tatang was still a young boy. So apparently, Tatang was left alone in San Jose where he grew up to fend for himself. Because he never talked about it, we could only guess that he had had an unhappy and difficult childhood having been orphaned early and ignored by his half-brother and half-sister.
Being bright and intelligent, however, Tatang the orphan apparently supported himself and finished high school. It must have been around this time too when Tatang got close to the Bunag family of San Jose who was then operating a photo studio in town. He worked with them as photographer and somehow became an adopted son of the family. The Bunag’s daughter, Honor, eventually became my ninang (Godmother) in baptism, while Ninang Honor’s mother was “Mama” to all of us. Looking back, Tatang must have gotten close to the Bunags, especially “Mama”, because he found in them the family love and caring he never had, especially since he grew up without a mother and a family he could call his own.
Tatang as a Person
Tatang was a simple man with simple tastes and simple pleasures. He never touched cigarette and alcohol. He was always physically clean from head to toe, dressed neatly and smelled good even at home. He was short and on the heavier side because he likes to eat. He was also a musician (trombone player) so he naturally loves to listen to music, especially band music. He would stay all night just to listen to the Serenata Ng Mga Banda (Serenade of the Bands) during town fiestas in San Jose and Pulilan. Ah, yes, he likes to go to the movies, but English movies only! His weekends usually would include a good movie or a haircut in town or simply staying at home to catch up on his reading.
Yes, he believes that reading is educational. Although short in funds, he would always have a daily newspaper (Bulletin) which he reads upon coming home from office. He also had a regular subscription of the Readers’ Digest and the Philippines Free Press. I still remember his large collection of Readers’ Digest and Philippines Free Press at our old house in Ramos Street.
He was not a religious person as Inang was in the early days. He would lead us all to church on Sundays but he never went to confession or receive communion. He would explain later that it was all due to his experience with the priest who officiated at their wedding. He was also not too keen then about joining any civic or religious organization. He would say he just did not want all the socializing, but we knew he was just afraid that he could not afford the expense. But he would make up for it later when I had gone to the seminary. He eventually joined the Knights of Columbus, made the Cursillo, and started receiving the sacraments
.
And finally, how he loves children! When we were all grown up already, I remember how he loves to borrow a neighbor’s baby to coddle and play with. I can imagine how he must have been the happiest Lolo (Grandfather) when his first grandchildren came.
Memories
I have many fond memories of my Tatang. My earliest recollection was that of a blue shirt neatly tucked near my pillow as I woke up one Christmas morning. Tatang said it was from Santa Claus and I believed him then! The next Christmas it was a toy jeep made from tin can and pulled by a string. I also remember how he surprised me one day with a ball of string for my kite, except that the string was too heavy for my small kite. I remember too the movie “The Sullivans”, the first English movie he brought us to see at the old Cine Celia complete with peanuts and candies. I remember most of all the time he accompanied me to school when I was in Grade 1 after I refused to study anymore because of a bully in school.
Tatang’s parenting was conservative. As head of the family, he would let Inang do the spanking when we misbehaved. He did not dare punish us unless he had to. I guess because he knew he had a temper and he really would explode when he got angry. He was also strictly a homebody, a home-to-office-to-home sort of person. He was also not an expressive type of person, except perhaps with babies and small children, but not with us his grown up children. I do not think he bonded deeply with any of his children, except perhaps with Ateng, his only girl. But I remember that unlike Inang, he wrote me often while I was at the seminary to tell me about happenings at home.
His Death
Tatang had just recovered from a stroke that partially debilitated him when I was ordained priest in December 1968. He told me then that he just waited for my ordination and that he was “ready to go”. I ignored his remark and went on to my new missionary assignment in Cotabato. He did not recover anymore when another stroke came on June 29, 1969 – some six months after my ordination and a little less than two months after his 61st birthday. He passed away with only Inang, a son and a granddaughter at his side. He died peacefully, without too much effort or pain. His funeral, people said, must have been one of the largest gathering ever seen in our town. It was truly a testimony to Tatang’s goodness as a person and to the legacy that he had left behind -- that of a faithful family man and an honest civil servant.
Tatang was already gone when I left the priesthood in 1976. But I am sure that like Inang, he would have also wholeheartedly agreed with and respected my decision to leave.
That was the kind of father he was – wanting only what was best for his children.
That is Tatang, my father.
Tatang had just recovered from a stroke that partially debilitated him when I was ordained priest in December 1968. He told me then that he just waited for my ordination and that he was “ready to go”. I ignored his remark and went on to my new missionary assignment in Cotabato. He did not recover anymore when another stroke came on June 29, 1969 – some six months after my ordination and a little less than two months after his 61st birthday. He passed away with only Inang, a son and a granddaughter at his side. He died peacefully, without too much effort or pain. His funeral, people said, must have been one of the largest gathering ever seen in our town. It was truly a testimony to Tatang’s goodness as a person and to the legacy that he had left behind -- that of a faithful family man and an honest civil servant.
Tatang was already gone when I left the priesthood in 1976. But I am sure that like Inang, he would have also wholeheartedly agreed with and respected my decision to leave.
That was the kind of father he was – wanting only what was best for his children.
That is Tatang, my father.
2 comments:
Thanks Sangko for writing one of the beautiful articles you've written. I'm so happy and lucky to have experienced the love of a grandfather (Tatang)to his first grandchild. My memories of him are still vivid in my mind and my heart. I also realized that Papa and him have so much in common.
In fact Ateng, I think all our Dads took a lot from Tatang. Thank you again Sanko for giving us a glimpse of the kind of grandfather we had. I am deeply touched at the thought that we ALL take a lot from Tatang. And how lucky I am to be part of a family of sentimental legacies. Danimae must have gotten the photographer gene like my dad. And Andrew, Gino and Ceska must have gotten the band scene -liking gene :) how amusing and touching all rolled into one!
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