A different father and son story

I am sure you have heard of the father and son story in the Prodigal Son narrative as told by Jesus in the gospel.

This is a different father and son story that happened on Father’s Day, one Sunday morning in June, more or less than 20 years ago.

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The only son was probably about 10 years old then – a bright, intelligent yet sensitive boy. He was at that stage perhaps when he was trying to establish his own identity as he was starting to break away from maternal strings, looking up to his father as a male role-model, and maybe seeking a piece of his fatherly affection.

The father, however, was aloof, cold, and non-demonstrative of his emotions – parental traits which he must have gotten from his own father himself. Furthermore, his educational training had been in a regimented institution (aka a seminary) where rules and regulations reigned supreme and where every major activity was on schedule.

Thus, in their household, there were rules for his children (1 boy and 2 girls who were all in grade school at that time) to follow. Non-compliance with the rules entails corresponding punishment for the violator.

One of these rules was that the children were not to leave the house without permission from the father even if they were only to play games outside with their playmates in the neighborhood.

That Sunday morning, which also happened to be Father’s Day, the father was quietly sitting and reading the Sunday newspapers. He noticed that he already had received Father’s Day greetings from his wife and 2 daughters but not from his son. He asked for his son’s whereabouts but nobody could give him any answer. The son apparently left the house without telling anybody and even without greeting his father first. The father then instructed the household helpers to let the son come to him as soon as he arrived.

Soon the son arrived and came to him sheepishly and seemingly afraid. Without any warning, the father started shouting at his son angrily asking why he broke the rule and left the house without asking permission first. The boy, already overtaken by fear of his father, could not answer and this angered his father more. The father started shaking him by the shoulders until tears fell from the boy’s eyes. He then pushed the boy hard away from him and told him to stay in his room the whole day as his punishment.

Just before lunch, his wife approached him with a Father’s Day card with his favorite candy inside. The card and candy were from his son, his wife told him. He learned too that his son went out to buy the card and candy only that morning and did not asked permission because the boy had wanted to surprise his father. The father did not know then what to say at that moment. Shaken, he slowly stood up and went to his son.

What happened next was a reverse of the gospel scene in the Prodigal Son story. Instead of the son going to his father for forgiveness, the father humbly went to his son, embraced him and tearfully asked for his forgiveness.

That day was the start of the father’s gradual and painful awakening. He changed his parenting ways towards all his children and became a more loving, more understanding father from then on. He and his son started doing things together whenever possible. Slowly but surely, they developed and nurtured a relationship that helped carried both the boy and his father later on through the rough times in their respective lives.

The boy grew into his teen age years and early adulthood until he decided to be on his own in the United States. Meanwhile, the father watched closely and with pride as his boy metamorphosed into a fine young man that he is today.

I know this story only too well. It is my story and of my only son Nico

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Today, Nico and I are oceans and thousands of miles apart, but we continue to communicate regularly. And for some reason or another, we chance to find ourselves together when we need each other most.

Thus, by quirk of circumstances and perhaps by God’s design, I happened to be in California in 2005 visiting with Nico and doing a unit of CPE in San Francisco when Nico decided to get married. And so it was that there were just the two of us representing our family who did the “pamanhikan” with the family of Cecille. Then by God’s plan once again, it was Nico who first rushed to my side to give me company when I needed a loved one due to my life-threatening open-heart surgery in Hawaii last year.

Today Nico is a father himself to a lovely daughter – my first grandchild Nicole. I am sure that someday he will remember this story and pluck a lesson or two from it when he starts raising his future son.

Then perhaps, another different and a much better father and son story will be told when Father’s Day comes around.