Today, January 6, 2008 is the Feast of the Epiphany in the Catholic liturgical calendar. The priest at mass emphasizes that today is no longer the Feast of Three Kings as we have always known it to be (apparently they were neither kings nor three in number!). The emphasis of the story today is more on God’s manifestation or appearance to the gentiles (the Wise Men), more on the fact that God came not only for the Jews but for all men…
What struck me in the story, however, is God’s way of manifesting his will to men through signs (the star, the angel) and through men’s experience. Today, I can’t imagine God or an angel appearing to us in our dreams to tell us what he wants… But, as one spiritual writer (whose name eludes me now as I experience a senior moment!) has phrased it: “God manifests his will to us in the present times through the experiences he writes in our lives” (not the exact quote). And it is up to us to make the effort to read it correctly.
Let me share with you my experience lately.
Given the mood of the holiday season, I have been reflecting recently regarding my present lot of being in a “waiting” mode, of waiting for something to happen in my life after my open-heart surgery. As a friend told me, obviously God is not done with me yet.
Yes, I accept that, I could have died from a massive heart attack had I been in another place when it came. But, what now that I am still alive and seemingly ready to live longer? What does God want me to do? I ask myself.
Not that I am ready... Physically, I still have to fully recover from my open heart surgery. These past days however, I have been thinking again of wanting to go back to what attracted me to CPE, and that is working with and spiritually caring for the dying, the elderly, the patients with terminal illness, etc. In fact it was my expressed specialty to be during my CPE training last year in Honolulu and I always went out of my way in paying special attention to this kind of patients in the hospitals where I was assigned... My supervisor even remarked I would do well working in a hospice facility because I seemed to have the gift for it.
The other day, I went to my favorite bookstore and bought my quota of books for the month and guess what did I pick? I selected a novel by Richard Paul Evans, The Locket. It is a moving story of a beautiful relationship between a young caregiver in a seniors' facility and an elderly in her last stages of life... I also opted for a book by my favorite spiritual author, Henri Nouwen, entitled A Meditation on Dying and Caring to add to my growing collection of books on Dying and Caring for the Dying. Of course, one would say: “But you chose these books! It does not mean anything.” Yes, but what amazes me is that a third book sent by a friend came that evening. It is a book of letters by an Aunt to her nephews and nieces entitled: Dear Pamangkins (Letters on Life and Spirituality). The letter writer is Dra. Josefina B. Magno, MD, a Filipina doctor who was one of the pioneers of the hospice movement in the United States. So you can just imagine how I reacted when I browse through the book and discovered how she was talking to her pamangkins about her passion of taking care of the dying and those with terminal illness like cancer. I could imagine her talking to me!
Is this where God is leading me? What is he saying to me now? How does one read God’s will in the experiences God writes in our lives? Today, I can only wait. I take comfort in what Dr. Magno writes to her pamangkins as if she is writing to me: “It is amazing how God gives us the answers to our questions when the right time comes.” (p. 104)
What struck me in the story, however, is God’s way of manifesting his will to men through signs (the star, the angel) and through men’s experience. Today, I can’t imagine God or an angel appearing to us in our dreams to tell us what he wants… But, as one spiritual writer (whose name eludes me now as I experience a senior moment!) has phrased it: “God manifests his will to us in the present times through the experiences he writes in our lives” (not the exact quote). And it is up to us to make the effort to read it correctly.
Let me share with you my experience lately.
Given the mood of the holiday season, I have been reflecting recently regarding my present lot of being in a “waiting” mode, of waiting for something to happen in my life after my open-heart surgery. As a friend told me, obviously God is not done with me yet.
Yes, I accept that, I could have died from a massive heart attack had I been in another place when it came. But, what now that I am still alive and seemingly ready to live longer? What does God want me to do? I ask myself.
Not that I am ready... Physically, I still have to fully recover from my open heart surgery. These past days however, I have been thinking again of wanting to go back to what attracted me to CPE, and that is working with and spiritually caring for the dying, the elderly, the patients with terminal illness, etc. In fact it was my expressed specialty to be during my CPE training last year in Honolulu and I always went out of my way in paying special attention to this kind of patients in the hospitals where I was assigned... My supervisor even remarked I would do well working in a hospice facility because I seemed to have the gift for it.
The other day, I went to my favorite bookstore and bought my quota of books for the month and guess what did I pick? I selected a novel by Richard Paul Evans, The Locket. It is a moving story of a beautiful relationship between a young caregiver in a seniors' facility and an elderly in her last stages of life... I also opted for a book by my favorite spiritual author, Henri Nouwen, entitled A Meditation on Dying and Caring to add to my growing collection of books on Dying and Caring for the Dying. Of course, one would say: “But you chose these books! It does not mean anything.” Yes, but what amazes me is that a third book sent by a friend came that evening. It is a book of letters by an Aunt to her nephews and nieces entitled: Dear Pamangkins (Letters on Life and Spirituality). The letter writer is Dra. Josefina B. Magno, MD, a Filipina doctor who was one of the pioneers of the hospice movement in the United States. So you can just imagine how I reacted when I browse through the book and discovered how she was talking to her pamangkins about her passion of taking care of the dying and those with terminal illness like cancer. I could imagine her talking to me!
Is this where God is leading me? What is he saying to me now? How does one read God’s will in the experiences God writes in our lives? Today, I can only wait. I take comfort in what Dr. Magno writes to her pamangkins as if she is writing to me: “It is amazing how God gives us the answers to our questions when the right time comes.” (p. 104)
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